Sighhhh. Very susah lah. I do the things which I do not want to do, and don't do the things which I should do. Struggles! If you are the praying type, please pray for me. It's a spiritual struggle and I do not want to fall behind nor lose out. Kiasu.
Deep down, I know it is these experiences that are for the better. He only tests those whom he loves. God! Come and heal my heart. Give me rest and give me rejuvenation. Refresh my soul with your Spirit and rain on me. I say that you are the author and finisher of my faith. Amen.
Times like these, Jesus' words in Matt 11:28-30 works well:
28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. 29 Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."