paranoia

i can't help but feel like every time i write something here, someone's out there, scrutinizing every sentence and reading too much into every word.

is that you?

truth

One thing I wish I knew when I was younger is the importance and function of the truth. It's very important to know the truth of the values you hold to be true to yourself. I'm not saying this to sound like I know it all, and neither do I know all values which I hold true, but I do know that it is important to know your TRUTH. When challenges and tough times come, you will know the true North Star within you which holds you and grounds you, and keeps you anchored. It is not to give you self-righteousness, nor does it give you the right to look down on others. So many times have I found courage and strength within the Truth that I hold in me, and so many times has it been a solace - especially evident when no one seems to be in the same boat as I am,

"you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Reminiscing 2015

This post is to remember the fun stuff I did this year.

Travels
- Traveled to Bintan, Indonesia and Singapore with Jon & his parents
- Traveled to Macau and had the best time ever
- Weekend trip to Penang with fam (minus one sis)
- Day trip to Sekinchan with fam
- White water raft-ed at company retreat @Gopeng

Relationship
- LDR'd it up with Jon (1 year of LDR this February!)
- Got to be a bridesmaid, TWICE!

Work
- Had most expensive meals at Zipangu and Strato @ Troika. Thanks, work.
- Left with 4 annual leaves at end of Dec (this never happened while at work. I always took over the amount!)

Skillz
- Learnt how to skate and got gifted a longboard <3
- Gained additional knowledge on personal financial management
- Was enrolled in a 3 month leadership program which was truly beneficial

I also had disappointments this year but why mull over it when mulling over good times is way better?

I tell people that December has been a busy month for me, but truth be told, it was not a busy month for me. It was a normal month with the same amount of workload, but I consciously chose not to prioritize my life portions better, and instead allowed myself and my time to be swept up in the waves of work. In the midst of all that, I lost touch, denied myself what truly mattered and regretted some of the decisions I made. Now I know better. God first, everything else later. I don't care what you think.

Through last days of December, I also quietly observed my one year anniversary at my workplace. Awesome. It's been an awesome year. On the first day of my job in 2014, I told myself: One year. I'll give myself one year to see what social media is like in another agency, how they run things, and see how much I can learn and grow here. I want to see how far I can run in one year. After that, I will choose to do what my heart desires - work and travel overseas, help my mum with her job, find a job in Klang. Now that the one year is up, I realized that it wasn't really a goal I had given to myself. It was just an aim. I can't even measure how far I moved because that goal wasn't measurable. Because of that, I am somewhat still at square one - the same place where I was in 2014.

I did manage to give some time and thought to what I would want to achieve for 2016. I want to be able to go overseas for an extended period of time this year, preferably for a year, and preferably to work and travel. Be a fruitful person, be part of the solution. I want to be able to be someone who can help others be who they are meant to be. I want to help people pay their bills and not worry about their finances.

I want to be a loan shark.