just one of those days

"some days are just not worth living", my emo mind made its statement loudly at 7pm, while i sat immobile in my car, two hours after i departed KL and still hadn't reached home.

"days are just not worth living", today was just one of those days, that bump on the road, a dip, the valley, a roadblock, that annoying piece of sheet you just want to burn and watch burn to ashes.

"just not worth living", when your present makes your future look bleak, and you dread each hour and minute.

"not worth living", when the world is too busy spinning to notice, and all you want is for someone to say "don't worry about today, man"

"worth living" 

these are the kind of days to find your own meaning

paranoia

i can't help but feel like every time i write something here, someone's out there, scrutinizing every sentence and reading too much into every word.

is that you?

truth

One thing I wish I knew when I was younger is the importance and function of the truth. It's very important to know the truth of the values you hold to be true to yourself. I'm not saying this to sound like I know it all, and neither do I know all values which I hold true, but I do know that it is important to know your TRUTH. When challenges and tough times come, you will know the true North Star within you which holds you and grounds you, and keeps you anchored. It is not to give you self-righteousness, nor does it give you the right to look down on others. So many times have I found courage and strength within the Truth that I hold in me, and so many times has it been a solace - especially evident when no one seems to be in the same boat as I am,

"you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Reminiscing 2015

This post is to remember the fun stuff I did this year.

Travels
- Traveled to Bintan, Indonesia and Singapore with Jon & his parents
- Traveled to Macau and had the best time ever
- Weekend trip to Penang with fam (minus one sis)
- Day trip to Sekinchan with fam
- White water raft-ed at company retreat @Gopeng

Relationship
- LDR'd it up with Jon (1 year of LDR this February!)
- Got to be a bridesmaid, TWICE!

Work
- Had most expensive meals at Zipangu and Strato @ Troika. Thanks, work.
- Left with 4 annual leaves at end of Dec (this never happened while at work. I always took over the amount!)

Skillz
- Learnt how to skate and got gifted a longboard <3
- Gained additional knowledge on personal financial management
- Was enrolled in a 3 month leadership program which was truly beneficial

I also had disappointments this year but why mull over it when mulling over good times is way better?

I tell people that December has been a busy month for me, but truth be told, it was not a busy month for me. It was a normal month with the same amount of workload, but I consciously chose not to prioritize my life portions better, and instead allowed myself and my time to be swept up in the waves of work. In the midst of all that, I lost touch, denied myself what truly mattered and regretted some of the decisions I made. Now I know better. God first, everything else later. I don't care what you think.

Through last days of December, I also quietly observed my one year anniversary at my workplace. Awesome. It's been an awesome year. On the first day of my job in 2014, I told myself: One year. I'll give myself one year to see what social media is like in another agency, how they run things, and see how much I can learn and grow here. I want to see how far I can run in one year. After that, I will choose to do what my heart desires - work and travel overseas, help my mum with her job, find a job in Klang. Now that the one year is up, I realized that it wasn't really a goal I had given to myself. It was just an aim. I can't even measure how far I moved because that goal wasn't measurable. Because of that, I am somewhat still at square one - the same place where I was in 2014.

I did manage to give some time and thought to what I would want to achieve for 2016. I want to be able to go overseas for an extended period of time this year, preferably for a year, and preferably to work and travel. Be a fruitful person, be part of the solution. I want to be able to be someone who can help others be who they are meant to be. I want to help people pay their bills and not worry about their finances.

I want to be a loan shark.

Meritus Pelangi Resort, Langkawi: Quite Possibly the Best Hotel on Cenang

Meritus Pelangi Beach Resort & Spa is quite possibly the best (and only) 5 star hotel along the popular Cenang Beach in Langkawi. If you want a super nice place to stay in Langkawi and your budget is USD250/night, this is the place. Seriously guys. So good I cannot. We stayed there a year ago as winnings of the #SkytrexSelfie contest. HEHE

Kenneth awkwardly freezing as he realizes too little too late that he's caught in a panorama shot

Decent room, classy furnishing 

A little sitting area which the third bed was set up on

the ultra luxe toilet. so huge it had a closet and a small bench to the left. no bathubs cos who needs them when you're in langkawi?!? 

at the outside balcony

everything just looks better when you're on holiday. even a normal kampung scene

one of the reasons why i love meritus so much is the kid's splash area. it's a huge area with this foamy material on the floor that is always surrounded by water but not submerged by it. reminds me of when we were kids and the car porch at home would be flooded just for fun. of course i spent most of my time here

hot dao cannot open eyes, but the weather, so beautiful, just see the pics below:

the beachside bar and the gorgeous view *heart eyes emoji*

the beach is SWEET like sugar, man. not only is it one of the more secluded portions of the popular cenang beach, it's got a beautiful view of the small islands across the waters. plane spotters would also enjoy its close proximity to the airport - planes regularly whizzed by whenever we were there.

HEUHEUHEUHEU

Read more: Meritus Pelangi Breakfast Buffet

Why I Blog

Why am I still blogging here? I write here to remember the things I publish on this little blog. One year from now, two years from now, I can remember the things I chose to share with you. I write here to share the lessons I have learnt from parts of my life - and I hope if you read it, something will help you where you are. I write here to record the observations from my travels (however bare), to tie a value to it.

I write here to have something to look back upon.

I write here because I can :)

5 Scandalous Lessons I Learnt in the Last 90 Days

Be mindful.
Be mindful about what you think/do/hear/say/act upon, because every one of your actions either bring you closer to your goals or further away from it

Ubuntu is a living, breathing thing.
Treat it well and practice it daily. Don't abscond it to second position because "you can do it better/faster". A little teamwork goes a very, very long way.

It's not impossible. 
Really. It's not. You just have to set your mind to it and do it. And ask for help - it's always there. You just need to ask.

Resentment and guilt kills you.
So just move on already!

Know what you want.
Know what you want.


*Actually I learnt more than 5 lessons.